Being born as a South Korean male comes with two guarantees in life:
- Mandatory military service
- Taxes
Doesn’t matter if you’re the most dazzling K-drama actor or the biggest K-pop idol — you’ll wear that camo uniform at some point. Fun fact: Korean actor Nam Joo-Hyuk actually served near my unit and even sat next to me on the bus back from Daejeon Army Hospital.
National service is a fascinating experience when you really think about it. One day, you’re at home chilling with your family, and the next, you wake up next to 15 bald, kiwi-looking guys from completely different backgrounds, hobbies, and roles in society.
In my training group alone, we had a professional baseball player, an actor, a dancer, and even a wood-sculpting artist.
The craziest part? You’re suddenly expected to work as a team with these total strangers toward one common goal: learning how to kill people. Not exactly your everyday experience.
While national service is probably one of the most hated obligations among Korean men, I’d argue it was one of the most unique and valuable learning experiences I’ve ever had.
Here are five of the most powerful life lessons from my time as a soldier that you can apply to your own life:
Table of Contents:
- True Optimism Comes from Trusting God’s Plan, Not Forced Positivity
- Admitting Weakness Is the First Step to Real Strength
- Love It or Hate It, Time Will Pass Either Way
- Life Is a Series of Never-Ending Problems. When One Ends, Another Begins.
- Take Other People’s Advice with a Pinch of Salt and Focus on Your Own Journey
1) True Optimism Comes from Trusting God’s Plan, Not Forced Positivity
You’ve probably heard the proverb: “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade” — or some parody of it — countless times before. It sends a good message: turn adverse situations into something positive.
I’ve always thought optimism was about trying to be positive all the time — you know, seeing the glass half full instead of half empty.
However, here’s the problem: sometimes life doesn’t give you lemons; it gives you a sack of horsesh*t instead — and I don’t think anyone’s figured out how to make “horsesh*tonade” yet.
For me, it was hard to stay optimistic when I had to abandon my university studies, leave behind my friends, and sacrifice nearly two years of my life in a notorious place of suffering — for a country I’d barely even lived in.
Sometimes a situation sucks so much that you simply don’t have the desire, hope, or willpower to “just think of the bright side” and rationally figure out a constructive response.
Trying to force yourself to be positive all the time doesn’t lead to peace or happiness — it leads to toxic positivity.1 You fake positivity by suppressing your negative emotions and telling yourself you feel a certain way when you don’t.
Some things just suck, and telling yourself “think positive, think positive” isn’t going to magically make you positive.
What I realized is that true optimism doesn’t come from trying harder to be positive — it comes from trying less. It comes from freeing yourself from the burden of figuring out what to do with the lemons you receive and instead giving them to God, trusting him to make something out of it for you.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”2
Positivity doesn’t come from ignoring pain or forcing it into something good — it comes from knowing your pain has meaning. There were many times in the military where it was literally impossible to stay optimistic — you’d probably have to be a psychopath to smile through everything.
However, trusting in God’s plan over mine was what gave me hope and positivity. Even though I couldn’t comprehend how most of the crap situations I was in would benefit me, I believed God did.
True optimism comes from the privilege of believing that even when times are rough and you feel like your whole life is falling apart, God is still in control. Your struggles aren’t for nothing; there’s a greater purpose behind them.
In the end, a journey hated and dreaded by most turned out to be one of the best times of my life — where instead of a lemonade, God baked me a delicious lemon cake filled with precious ingredients I call “suffering.”
2) Admitting Weakness Is the First Step to Real Strength
As if serving in the army for a country I hadn’t lived in since the age of two wasn’t hard enough, I was called in for an interview with the Commando Battalion — and got selected.
For those who don’t know, the Commando Battalion is basically the unit that must react and move the fastest when something bad happens, so they aren’t particularly easy-going — to say the least.
Sure, we got special badges and slightly better food, but I was overwhelmed with the pressure, especially because my Korean wasn’t that good.
One of the scariest exercises we had to do was helicopter rappelling. Since we were the rapid-response unit, rappelling was crucial.
The thing is, you had to rappel down a shaky helicopter in the sky — with no safety features. You fall, you die — or break your legs if you’re lucky.
As someone with acrophobia, the thought of this had me absolutely sh*tting my pants for a while. I couldn’t find the strength in myself to handle any of it, let alone the other intense training exercises and responsibilities I had.
But when I admitted I wasn’t strong enough to deal with it all on my own and instead depended on the power of Christ, I found real strength. It wasn’t my job to figure it all out anymore — it was God’s.
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 3
The weaker you become and the more you rely on God, the stronger and more courageous you become. To become stronger, you must first become weaker.
“If you had to choose between God’s strength and your own, which would you pick?”
3) Love It or Hate It, Time Will Pass Either Way
547…546…545…544…543… days left to serve.
At the beginning of my military service, it felt like time was never going to move. Like I’d be stuck there forever. Even imagining my discharge felt surreal.
But before I knew it, the countdown was 4…3…2…1… and then 0.
During my time there, I saw all kinds of people, each with their own way of spending the time they were given. Some were respected and achieved a lot; others were disliked and considered incompetent. Some were productive, others lazy. Some were happy, some miserable.
The one thing everyone had in common? No matter if they loved it or hated it, the countdown eventually reached zero, and their service came to an end.
It made me realize: whether you love your current season or hate it, time is still moving forward.
So, whether you’re ecstatic and loving life, or in a period of intense suffering, both good and bad times will eventually end. And with that guarantee, the question is:
If all things eventually come to an end, what’s the best way to spend the time you have left?
4) Life Is a Series of Never-Ending Problems. When One Ends, Another Begins.
You’ve probably heard the saying: “There’s light at the end of the tunnel.” And while it’s encouraging and all, it only tells part of the story. What people don’t mention is that once you come out of that tunnel, another one is unfortunately waiting for you a few miles ahead.
I thought all my problems would disappear once I discharged from the military. I imagined I’d be on cloud nine, walking on rainbows every single day. I kept telling myself: “Once May 7th, 2024 comes, life will be perfect.”
Then came May 8th, 2024 — the day after my discharge. Early in the morning, I woke up to my phone vibrating nonstop. It wasn’t even 6:00 AM, but I was getting bombarded with calls and messages.
I thought it was just my friends congratulating me — but the text read:
“Your grandpa has passed away.”
The following weeks turned out to be some of the toughest of my life. The day I had looked forward to for nearly two years became the day I wished had never come.
My discharge was the end to one problem, but the start of another. That’s life: you’ll never stop having problems until you face the last one – death.
But here’s what I realized: my toughest moments were often the most meaningful ones. Happiness wasn’t about having no problems. It was about the journey with God — overcoming struggles together with him.
Happiness didn’t come on my discharge day. It was in the little victories, the resilience built during hardship, and the moments when I saw God’s strength carry me through.
As humans, we tend to see problems as interruptions — something that ruins our idea of a perfect, problem-free life. But what if the real the problem isn’t the struggle itself, but your perspective on it?
Problems are inevitable, but the key is that you get to choose what to make of them. You decide whether your struggles will destroy you or make you stronger.
If you let him, God uses these very challenges to build you up.
“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” 4
5) Take Other People’s Advice with a Pinch of Salt and Focus on Your Own Journey
Before deciding whether to serve in the Korean military, I got tons of advice from people who had gone before me.
My case was unique because, having lived abroad my whole life, I technically had options to avoid service. Almost everyone told me the same thing: “Don’t do it. It’s not worth it. It’s a waste of your life.”
But instead of listening to everyone else, I chose to follow God’s guidance and submit to his plan if it was his will for me to go.
Well? I ended up going — and it turned out to be one of the most valuable and life-changing experiences I’ve ever had.
Don’t get me wrong — the bad stuff people warned me about was very real. There were many times I thought, “This is an absolute sh*thole.”
But even though it wasn’t the journey I wanted, it was the one I needed. The hardships helped shape me closer into the person God wants me to be.
You’re going to get a lot of advice in life — from parents, friends, teachers, books, social media, influencers. And sure, listen to it. But remember: no matter how qualified someone seems, it’s their first time living too.
Just because something was good or bad for them doesn’t mean it’ll be the same for you.
That’s why it’s crucial to focus on your own path — and the best way to do that is by submitting to God’s plan, which is custom-designed for you. Unlike people who only know part of your story, he knows everything — even the number of hairs on your head.5
“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” 6
Serving in the Korean military was anything but a walk in the park, especially in such a demanding unit. It pushed me in ways I never imagined — physically, mentally, and spiritually.
Yet those two years shaped me with invaluable lessons that no other experience could have offered.
Although it may be hard to see in the moment, the hardest chapters of your life – when walked with God – can become unimaginable blessings.